May 5: "Mutant Copper" / "The Custodians" (K-9)

You get the feeling, watching K-9, that the only real problems faced by 2050s London are those created by the Department's Security Division.

Take "Mutant Copper", for instance.  While the rogue CCPC of the title isn't actually a danger to London, it is the result of an experiment that Inspector Thorne authorized, and none of this would have happened if he hadn't stuck human brain cells into the robot brain to see what would happen.  Of course, what did happen is that the CCPC became more interested in the world around it than in maintaining the Department's brand of justice, and it's only thanks to our heroes that Thorne doesn't simply kill this new lifeform.

Or take "The Custodians".²²¹  Here we have almost 20 million children being hospitalized due to some new virtual reality game that's shutting down kids' minds, and it's all sponsored by the Department in order to create a placid, unquestioning populace.  The fact that it might backfire because their eager alien volunteer might have other plans doesn't seem to have occurred to Thorne.

I'll say this about Thorne, though, he's certainly good at being sinister.  Even when he's stomping around Gryffen's home, looking for evidence that the mutant CCPC is there and failing to find any, he's still quite threatening -- he doesn't have any proof of wrongdoing, but he still seems quite formidable.  It's a wonder he's willing to back down in "The Custodians" in the face of June's appeals.

I'm focusing on Thorne and Department Security because the rest of these two episodes aren't particularly interesting.  To their credit, there's an effort to explore what it means to be human in "Mutant Copper", and more importantly, what it's like to be alone.  Birdie, the mutant CCPC, is neither fully human nor fully cyborg²²², and thus seems hopelessly confused -- or, more accurately, like a child who simply doesn't understand how the world works.  And rather than nurture this new creation, their solution is to turn him into a full cyborg again -- K-9 in particular seems distressed at the thought of Birdie not fitting in.  It's only because Thorne enters Gryffen's place, forcing Darius to take Birdie away and set him free, that stops him from being turned back into a full cyborg.  But that's about it for interesting things -- even their efforts to introduce another teenager named Marcus, to present as a potential rival for Starkey and/or Darius, fall flat because it's pretty clear that he's going to sell them out somehow, and so we're just waiting for that moment to happen rather than being surprised by it.

Starkey, Thorne, June, and K-9 watch as the Etydion dies. ("The
Custodians") ©Screen Australia, Pacific Film and Television
Commission Pty Limited, Park Entertainment Limited, Cutting
Edge Post Pty Limited, and Metal Mutt Productions Pty Limited

"The Custodians", meanwhile, has a potentially interesting idea in their alien race the Etydion, who have powerful telepathy that can transmit emotions (so "empathy", in the Star Trek sense) and can apparently slowly convert other beings into fellow Etydions, given the right conditions.  But because they have to wrap things up in 23 minutes and have their twist midway of "it's the Department who's behind the 'Little Green Men' game", this idea is given somewhat short shrift.  It's presented instead as a problem concerning Darius and Jorjie that needs to be solved, instead of something more interesting.  The way they solve the crisis, by June turning her full emotions on the Etydion regarding her daughter, is a good move, however.  And K-9's "Armageddon mode" is pretty wonderful:

JUNE: Thirty seconds before I order this lethal cyborg to level this place down to its foundations.  (quietly to K-9) Help us out here.
K-9:  Doomsday weapon online.  Armageddon mode activated.  (in a lower, doom-laden voice) These are the end of days.

That's the best part of a couple of episodes that are pretty middling by K-9's standards.  Everything else here is largely by-the-numbers, with little in the way of surprises or intriguing moments -- and those times we do get something beyond the norm, they have to quickly move on to get to the next moment without exploring the concepts much further.  These aren't bad episodes, but sadly they aren't particularly challenging or exciting either.








²²¹ Public service announcement: the Shout! Factory region 1 release of K-9: The Complete Series has a technical fault with the default audio of "The Custodians", dropping out completely at roughly 21:45 and lasting for the remainder of the episode.  The other audio track doesn't have this problem, however; you can switch to that one without any issues.
²²² It's never quite clear if the programme makers actually realize that "cyborg" isn't simply another word for "robot".  The way the argument about Birdie is framed, it's as if introducing this human element into his mind has completely changed everything -- nobody says anything like, "Hang on, he's already part-human, what's the problem?"  This is slightly worrying coming from an SF show, even a kids' one.